Deep thoughts

What is it about this year and relationships?
If there was a statistical graph displaying the quality of relationships, it would be a massive dip in the year 2012. Almost every person I’ve spoken to are going through a rough patch, a spiral or have broken up! Unfortunately, I also am underneath the break up category. Maybe this is the 2012 massacre they speak of… Who knows… But I’ve been told time and time again that something good will come out of it. The key is patience. For those unfortunate people who have been considered in the dip, something good will come out of it… But I’m not promising anything since I’ve seen nothing just yet…
So a few nights ago, it was just one of those times where I spent the night being proud of. I got down to opening up my CV and updating the relative areas. It seems like it is so out of date and just added a few necessary adjustments to look right. I also typed several cover letters since there were some jobs that did not require a CV but just a letter to indicate in words who you are and why you would be of value to the company you’re applying for. This approach seems to be a little personal as it indicates the type of person you are. Applied for several so a pretty decent night… Indicating this, I had no incentive regarding projects and concerned more about where my dream lies in terms of my career…
Moving forward in time, I successfully spent time playing games. Black Ops 2 was my choice of gaming once again. Ideally, it could just be my stress levels that makes me want to just pick up a first person shooter and…. shoot those who oppose me! As bad as that sounds, it keeps me calm and resets my stress level to zero. I do need to start playing a few single player games again. I feel like I want to follow a storyline again instead of the random gaming and shooting the randoms! 
Progress in moving on? Well, when I sit down by myself wondering where I am in my life, I can’t help but return back to where I was happy… It was all the words in the dictionary defining beautiful… Drowning in my thoughts, I cannot stress enough just how stuck I feel. If this didn’t happen, drinking or clubbing would have materialised… So to summarise, my progress is at it’s lowest peak but I have no choice but to strive and hope to see a finish line… I feel stronger but yet weak in some circumstances. It’s been 6-7 months to get over something that was special for 6 years. I’ve been through a lot but it’s no where near enough to get over what I’ve been through! This maybe the biggest challenge of my life so far and will I gain anything after it? Only time will tell…
Discovering deeper to social media, I realised that Blogger, Facebook and Twitter have become a great deal in my life. Thinking back, I always browsed around looking at profiles or other people posting random posts and wondering “why people do it… Post such randomness or stupidness”… Now I see what it really is. For me, it’s therapy. Releasing my thoughts that have been trapped in my mind for years onto a virtual environment. The way for keeping in touch, and knowing that you’re not alone in this world is something so special. Maybe it was obvious for most individuals but there is something you must understand about me… I’ve been living under a rock for years and although I am a web developer, it doesn’t necessarily mean I know how to use it properly the way others do. However, although these technologies are slowly being overrun by businesses and the many people complaining about Facebook’s new terms of advertising, it shouldn’t effect the fact that this space is worth appreciating… Internet has become such a big role in our lives so don’t neglect it… Embrace it!
Lately, I’ve been going out a lot less than I used to. Maybe I’m starting to think a little clearly in terms of money. But when I go out, I tend to never think about money because living the moment is so important! Being with your friends and having a laugh maybe somewhat a small gesture but locking yourself down can be stressing or can make you go crazy. Sometimes, not thinking about the vital stuff is a good thing! Live a little…
Concluding it all? I have no conclusion… I have no answers… But I am living the moment as it comes. One day, I can hopefully define what life is. Some people can try to define it but there’s no definite answer… They can hypothesise… But you live the way you want to… At the end of the day, it is the decisions that make you who you are…

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