There are many things that I think about on a day to day basis but the one thing that really gets to me is the career path.
I spent a few years collecting experience and spending half of my life in an office and I felt like I was trapped. A place with high pressure just cannot make me think very well but more importantly, problem solving becomes harder! Solving problems does not feel as good as it used to and maybe the reason for that is the repetition of the same issues arises becoming nothing more but a chore.
I recently jumped into a new job where things are constantly changing, consistency is slowly integrating and unlocking new areas I have not experienced before… It feels like I am finally leveling up and it feels great.
One thing that I have felt confused about lately was mixing the hobby and work to improve my quality of life! So when I was thinking to become a games developer, I would have created the illusion of being excited to go to work everyday! It feels like it makes perfect sense… to me anyway.
However, there is a slight problem when trying merge a hobby with work…
The way I define a hobby is an activity that I like to do and it creates a nice distraction that allows me to escape the work environment. Work, on the other hand, brings an environment where things need to be done at a certain time generating a thing I like to call “unnecessary pressure”. The reason I call it this is because the pressure is pushed by someone else but does not benefit anyone else but the person who owns the company!
Getting the pressure from individuals who may not care about the project and only cares about the payslip makes the other begin to dislike the entire operation altogether. The way I see it is that if it is supposed to be something you enjoy, how could you truly love it if you are being pressured to do it?
Don’t get me wrong though, there are some areas that do not deal with this kind of pressure.
So with me, I am a web developer in the day but a games developer as my side quest. Web development is a broad area and it equally gives the same frustrations as a games developer but the key difference between the two is the fact that the development patterns are different which gives that extra challenge.
What I am trying to get at is that creating two environments for one thing you enjoy most and the other being a job is the ideal thing to do if you want to continue enjoying what you want to do…
It is not to say that jobs are boring but people are pressuring to finish things where you want to be perfect about… Jobs are also a place to learn! If you don’t learn something new in a job, you end up being bored.
For me, the way to really fix this is just to keep my games as personal projects and my web life as work. This keeps the game development as a stress-free environment.
Maybe this is not an ideal way for some people but I feel it is the right move for me. One way or another, I’m glad I have some sort of direction once again…
It has been a while since I have written a blog and the reason for this is that I have recently got into a new hobby… Digital Art!
I never really saw this as a hobby… As a matter of fact, I never really saw myself having such a creative mind to push my drawings onto paper. Purchasing the Samsung Note 3 (yes I know… Not the latest model but whatever!) made me realise that I can finally put all the small doodles I have had in my notebooks and push it into the digital space.
So far, as you have probably noticed a few blog posts with drawings instead of my writings and although this has been a change of pace, it has been great and it still continues on! Although the drawings have been at a basic level, the idea is that I am learning by doing. My drawings are looking simple for now but maybe down the line, the skills will hopefully progress so with the amount of images I post up, it will be my log to look at and check upon how much I have grown…
I remember discussing with a friend once about a website called Illustration Friday (illustrationfriday.com). This website basically gives illustrators the opportunity to post their illustrations onto their website with the sweet allowance of giving traffic back to your website! One inspiration that I really appreciate from this website is the weekly topic. This one small feature gives me a challenge every week to think about what to draw on a weekly basis meaning that it builds improvement towards my digital drawing journey! To those who are looking for inspiration to draw again, I urge them to give it a try! (No promotion intended :p)
But wait, I hear you wondering “I thought you wanted to be a games developer?” Now that is a perfectly good question and one I can explain!
At first, I found that development gives me such an exhilarated feeling when either problems are solved or better yet, the end product is complete and looks precisely how I want it! One problem about it is that these small victories are becoming a little too small and now my exhilaration fuel needs to be fed in another way! Analysing my life in this aspect is rather disappointing which led me to discovered my low point. This low point began to increase again when I started writing blog posts and with this, I began to feel the victories again! With this, it became a necessity to write more and improve my writing! During this point, I started doodling on paper and began wondering whether there were ways to post this digitally. This is where my inspiration for doodling and drawing became my next thing to do! So ultimately, I will never drop my dream of being a games developer but these “victories” or accomplishments are segments of my proudest achievements and will continue to keep my skills balanced! In other words, I will bounce around to different things when inspiration kicks in, whether it is a game idea, a drawing I want to show the world or even a story I would like to write!
So I suppose my point for this post is whether you graduate in being a developer, it does not necessarily mean you will stick to it in the end and more importantly, it is never too late to switch around what you really want to do. If you feel like you want to do something new, don’t feel like you don’t have time or you don’t have money to do it. There are so many things out there that can lift you up to make these aspirations change into reality!
Don’t give up… Think positive… And never look down!
It has been a while since I have written about myself and quite frankly, it’s all building up in my head that I need to release some of it on this blog so I can discard the thoughts and think fresh.
So what have I been up to?
My attempt to accomplish my projects is just laughable. They seem to be increasing more and more! The thought of just how many there are makes me a little pissed off. Why haven’t I been doing it? It’s the overwhelming fact that work is draining my energy altogether. My sleeping pattern have completely changed and the motivation has decreased. There was one motivating day where it gave me the mental push I really needed.
I don’t usually go to salons to get haircuts however, my last experience was cosy and thought that I would try it again seeing that the barbers are always full of people and although the price is twice as expensive, it was definitely worth it and I am going to explain why…
So firstly, I had the most amazing head massage and made me feel at ease. This made my thoughts gather all at once and made me think clearly once again, as though my mind was reset to null. After this awesomeness, it was time for the main haircut. So I had the privilege of getting my haircut from the owner of the business. It started with a conversation from what I currently do. Then it went on to telling him my thoughts on what I really wanted to get into: Gaming. That’s where it started to get interesting.
We went on to discussing this one guy who basically had a life with people doubting him however, he ignored all those people and continued becoming one of the most successful people in the world. I relate to this because I spend my time just caring about what other people think and end up forgetting my idea.
Continuing on, the conversation moved swiftly to pinball machines. So we discussed about how there were a small audience in the world where people are just so into these things and I must admit, I was surprised. I suppose I have been in my own world that I guess I never really analysed the world enough to even consider what is happening and just the thought of this small audience just means that there are plenty of other small communities waiting for the next big thing to be released for them.
Finally, the conversation ended with gaming. We started speaking about how game ideas just pop up randomly, EVEN if it is just a small bug in a game, the bug can be altered to create a great game. The trick is to just create whatever you feel like creating and you will find even more inspiration. Like they say, ‘learn by doing’.
After exiting this salon, my motivation was on high and I was just excited to get home and start developing.
Now I’m going to explain why these 3 points of the conversation fired me up.
‘The doubt’ of others can be really off putting and although you can try convince yourself not to do things because of the one or several comments you received were negative, the inner troll embedded in your head just keeps poking at you and eventually crack! The result? Give up. I suppose my best method to stop being put off from my projects is just to keep it to myself and just do what I feel like doing and not speak a word of it until it is finished.
‘Pinball machines’… What made me wonder is that even though the biggest ideas are taken, it doesn’t necessarily mean that all is lost. In other words, these small communities are hoping for someone to create something for them and they will throw good words to their friends and families if proven worthy of it. The motivation actually pushed further and made me want to fulfil these small holes we have in this world.
Lastly, the ‘game talk’. I suppose the gaming part of me have always been there and whenever someone asks me what my dream job would be, I immediately imagine myself wanting to strive in the gaming industry or better yet, having a small community just talking about a game that I was somehow involved with.
So there you have it! A great conversation that happened for one whole hour (or more) but what makes this one conversation stand out from all the other motivational conversations I had? I guess it all just dumbs down to the hook of the conversation. He backed up all his answers in such a way that really got me putting myself in the situations. I suppose it is just the way he expressed his words. He seemed rather regretful since he mentioned how it is too late for him to be the successful man he wanted to be. For that reason, I would like to thank him and probably try even harder to accomplish all I have… Before it is too late…