Am I following destiny?

A beautiful dream??
A dream is where your mind jumbles up the random visuals forming a story out of it… Right? I had a dream about her again… She was just by my side but we were running from something. I can’t quite recall what it was. Fighting for the relationship? Fear of letting go? End of the world? Whatever it was, I was happy just holding her hand… I almost can feel it all over again. 7 months?? I feel like we broke up just yesterday… I woke up thinking we were still together but what made me sad was the daunting thought that… We weren’t… It’s hard… I see visions… I see clips… What must I do just to get over it? I just can’t help but question myself if we were meant to be? 
Everyday is a new day… Apparently. Right now, I am meeting a familiar routine. I thought I had everything resolved but it just keeps cropping up! Would you call that a new day? I think I need a change. Something that does not remind me of this road. Paths are what you make it. 
So today, I had the opportunity to start on my online portfolio! It took me long enough as I have procrastinated for too long! My mac interface always displays Dreamweaver opened but my fingers do not want to move! Lazy much?! So I created just the simple template with CSS and HTML. This development is going super slow! I really need to up my game.
Where has the time gone? It feels as though one minute is Monday, and then the next is Friday! It can be good in some ways but it brings the fact that time is running out and nothing is being done about it. This is definitely not a race but with all the truth I can gather onto the table, I really want to leave a footprint in this world for doing something amazing. And in my opinion, I see it as creating an application or game and allow others to use it. As simple as that! I may or may not get recognised by it but I’d be proud just knowing people around the world would appreciate it… Wouldn’t you?
So gaming… Not even a touch. All due to the fact I have become dead tired every single day! What’s going on? If I am not being productive, maybe relieving stress with the use of gaming? Nope! My mind is not focused lately… 
This is a little complicated for me. I’m definitely not complaining but I am wondering what my purpose in this world really is. Am I following destiny or am I doing it all wrong? In my life, I have generally rejected stuff that I thought was the right choice but now, I begin to think twice about it all… 
One way or another, I’ll have to keep rolling forward…. Even if it could be wrong…

Leave a Reply