Saturday morning… Not the best news I wanted to hear…
So there I was, waking up knowing that I have passed the hours and minutes of my occasional mornings in the weekdays that I must wake to get to work. Knowing I have this amount of sleep is just the greatest feeling! But I recently heard the most harshest news. It was complete heart break… I feel betrayed. I feel like it is confirmation… And maybe the closure I need to get these feelings out of my system! I’m pretty sure that it is clear as day what I’m talking about so I won’t say directly. I thought that somewhere in the long run, we were going to work out perfectly fine. It just means you are over it. Didn’t take you long huh? I am absolutely lost. My goals are all so blurry now. I just need to be out and get rid of these feelings. I am sick and tired of feeling one thing when the other disregards your feelings! I haven’t moved one step forward… Not even one! And you? You’ve hurt me… I feel destroyed!
Why do I do this to myself? Why am I so nice to others? Is this what happens with my good intentions? Thinking I will receive a blessing when I least expect it? I am meeting my friend. He is technically the only person who understands as he has recently experienced the same mess I’ve been through. Being out of the house just makes me take my mind off all the terrible things that currently corrodes my only thoughts that keeps me going.
Observing such randomness happening around me just indicates that although shit is happening in my life, time goes on and as obvious as that sounds, it is sometimes hard to see that fact. Given this opportunity to see this, I understand that time heals the broken heart but sometimes, it can be expensive just sitting there wondering when you can get up and do something about it! You can sit in the corner and cry or you can get out there and smile. Do something or nothing. Pain or gain. I was going to head off home after meeting my mate and he kept saying to go out. How right he was. I decided to stay out and it was great.. Although I know I’ll think about it again, just being out with a few friends, and talking to others just made me forget for the night.
All I ever do is try…
