Improvement?

When is the Microsoft Surface Pro coming out!?
It has been a while since the Microsoft Surface Pro was announced but the RT version was released months ago. As I read articles all over the internet, I found that the release date was expected late January! Patiently waiting for this grand device, the date is approaching but nothing is certain and Microsofts website says nothing but “coming soon”… Keeping us up to date much? It’s not just me waiting right? My patience is on very thin ice and will break if they announce a delay! Alternatives?? Well, I looked at the Lenovo and the recently announced Razor EDGE Gaming tablet! But I am willing to give Microsoft this opportunity! Don’t let me down! One thing I love about Microsofts device mainly is for the design and simply the way how the keyboard is just integrated in a very portable way! Come on Microsoft… Do this right and you’ll be picking up a load of customers! The longer you leave it, the higher possibility of customers moving onto something else…
So enough about technology… Weather has been hectic lately! With all the snow! It has been great at times since lately we’ve had snow fights. Felt like a child again! This was with my mates from work! Snowballs went from one side of the road to the other… Some were in the middle of the road… Some were close range… One went right between my glasses and face! Surprisingly, my glasses didn’t fall off! Although I am a bent thrower, I somewhat had some decent shots so all good! But heading to work in the snow is a nightmare! TFL must up their game! We pay for a service… Improve it! I’m not one to really complain much but that travel was absolutely terrible! 
Into the gaming sector, grabbing onto my Xbox controller and playing Battlefield 3 again. Enjoying a good game with Kirsty. We finally got a game going and I must say, I missed this game so much! Synchronising teamwork, visually stunning graphics, realistic gameplay… Its weird how this game still amazes me! Kirsty and I were complimenting the game over the microphones endlessly. I laughed at random times when getting shot only because it was that good! But all in all, it was nice to pick up the controller again. Feels like I have missed it. Made me realise such things like why I got into gaming in the first place and more importantly, why I always wanted to do it as a career! Strangely, I have created distance to my initial dream and often wonder where my direction is heading… But to end the gaming section, good game and I will definitely grab the controller again some point.
Transitioning to the development sector, I finally found the cause upon the lack of motivation I’ve recently been blocked by! It was mainly the simple fact that I’ve been doing the wrong stuff! My motivation drive has been on maximum all due to making mini games! When I get home, I just end up wanting to do more instead of getting lazy. I love how things are going right now! Even in the weekend, although I only had a few hours, I managed to fit so much in that space. I am building ideas as I go along so it is all good!
From there, it’s all I am able to update where I am standing… It’s always good to read over this and see that something is progressing in a positive way!
Keep going… 

Motivate… And believe!

Money… The one thing that controls a persons motivation. The one source that makes a hierarchy from one individual to another. The one thing that avoids us from being equal. Being in sequence with the world and how it works. I think we all complain or think about it one day or another but will we ever do anything about it? Like people say, actions speak louder than words. Problems do not resolve unless actions are pushed. I do disagree with some of the protocols deployed for us people to follow but I can accept that I cannot do anything to change this. If there is a solution where it is guaranteed to change all this, by all means I’m game but for now, it’s safe to say I am nothing but a product and however much you would like to specify the obvious, we will be unless someone steps forward to do something about it. But hey… Just my opinion upon life and the world…

Moving on… So motivation finally kicked in this week. My mind was focused and coding happened. Creating a simple game. Feels like I am slowing grasping everything again. I need to just do things now. I am sick and tired of not seeing any content happening. Even writing my blog posts are beginning to slow down as well. But creating simple games should be what I will continue to do until an exciting project comes to mind. By then, my experience should be high enough to tackle a more complicated game! Bare in mind, I only spare a few hours in the evening and a few minutes in the morning to fit in my coding…

There has been one person who truly opens up time to talk to me… It has been a crazy 2 weeks but it feels like they are getting back to being their casual self again. It feels nice to know that they can just sit there and make jokes all day long. The way how we talk is like there is nothing in this world that matters but the moment. It is great to forget reality for a few hours… So thanks for that.

Creating a new me for 2013 is pretty difficult as what I’m told, it’s hard for me to change but I would like to and from the looks of it, it’s going well. As I am saying yes to most things when I usually say no, I found a beneficial factor upon each step (sounds like the Jim Carrey movie ‘Yes Man’). I definitely have missed a lot while I was living under a rock but I’m beginning to catch up to everything. It has been a great feeling and I plan to keep this going. I also booked my tickets to see the Final Fantasy Orchestra based in Barbican! That should be amazing! Since the Zelda performance was absolutely sensational, this should definitely be something worth being at.

My curiosity has increased as well as my motivation… Does that mean things are finally looking up?

A point of view…

Sorry is a powerful word… Using it where it is right is the hard part… Some people just say sorry because they want to escape a certain situation and there are other times when people genuinely mean it. Overusing words can happen without them knowing! But using it less can lead another to question… This world is so tricky! Lately, my friend has been in a spiral. Sometimes the silence is so awkward but is necessary for them to use that time to think. I could have continued to talk but it feels like they’ve somewhat heard it all before. I guess the best way to get rid of it was to take them out and take their mind off it! Wrong move I made… But I’m sure they appreciate my presence or even the thought of me concerned for them…

Wow. A game of badminton! That’s definitely a good start to the new year! Finally some exercise! I haven’t played in so long but it was good. Loads of laughs. There was unfortunately 3 players but one couldn’t make it due to unexpected circumstances… But we made it work. There was one vs one… Then two vs one… And kept swapping like that. It was a great set of games and we plan to make this a weekly event. If we continue this way, I can improve stamina and reflexes! I’m really glad we started this. One thing I need to improve on are my smashes! Always ends up at the end of the court… But I can understand why… Roll on next week!

Coming home from a normal day of work has been tiring… The way how my focus is just not present is frustrating. Every evening, I’d like to accomplish some lines of code but instead, I end up just staring at the screen and doing absolutely nothing and watching random YouTube videos! I need to get out of this routine and getting a little more serious! Is this how it will be this year? I have started on something though throughout the week. It has been very slow. I hope this weekend, I’ll achieve something. Usually on Fridays, I’d go out but since nothing has been planned, maybe I’ll use this evening to execute something productive! Lets see…

So it’s getting so cold in London and as I heard, next week is going to be the week for snow. Something I do not look forward to! With all the icy pavements with the possibility of slipping… Not nice! But hey, I’ll start throwing snowballs! That’s going to be awesome! Since I moved into a house, the heating has not been great! My room is always cold making me not want to do anything!

So lets see where I end up in the next few days. Will it be a good weekend or a bad one? I sure hope that it will be a weekend I spend well.

Instincts? You tell me if they still exist?!

The projects have finally come back to life again. With all the development back into play, I can say that I am on the road once again. Although it has been a really slow start, to just instigate it is a positive step. Producing this little project just made me miss the whole point of Object Oriented Programming. Last time I had this opportunity was just over a year ago and feels like I have much to get back into but it all comes down to remembering where I was. This is where I believe that if you leave your degree behind to do something else, you will eventually lose that skill set and end up seeing that the education you once stressed over was for nothing… So what did I learn? Don’t get too comfortable with what you have now! Keep yourself on your toes and try not to let your skills slip otherwise it really will be a waste.
I have spoken to several others in regards to projects and it seems like we are all getting back to developing our thoughts once again. It feels great! I think it maybe just this boost to the New Year! Why do us humans wait until January of EVERY YEAR to think we get a fresh start!? We could have started at the moment we realised something is slipping and yet, we just wait for that January. Strange…

It’s been a tough few days to get through for some. I just took a friend out to cheer her up. It actually ended up to be one great night. With all the laughter and talks we had, it certainly felt like old times. I really did enjoy the day and feel like I should continue to support her. We all make mistakes thinking it is right but who is to say they aren’t worth a second chance? Why do we spend so much time hating when we can just skip it and enjoy what we currently have? Life is absolutely short to be doing these childish acts…

So it seems this morning, I actually got down to some programming. I think the motivation drive has begun again… However, it was very little as I was able to squeeze 20 minutes of it in. It felt good to be back. I think it is about time to create the schedule for this year. As I have many things I want to accomplish this year, I need to somewhat fit it all in somehow.

My current thoughts lay in the section “where will I be in 5 years time”? The future is so scary. The decisions I am currently avoiding can give me a result where I can end up being! I maybe over thinking every step I am making at present but being careless can be a good answer. How do I even know if it is what I want?! We all hear stories from our elders that they regret something one day or another. It’s impossible but trusting our instincts is all it is. But what if I am doubtful about them? If I followed my instincts, I could have ended up jobless… But is that how it should have been? Be jobless for a while before finding my true inner happiness? Questions clouded over my head and I have no answers!

Who can answer my questions? Me…?

My perspective…

Admitting to your problem brings you one step closer to recovery…

All I’ve been doing lately in conversations are mainly admitting to how I truly feel towards certain situations. I think that I have lifted a big weight from my back throughout the last few months and to understand that my problems don’t even compare to what other people have to deal with. Makes me feel so ignorant… All I have been doing is complaining and what is unfair… I wish I could help those who really need help but to find a solution from a third person perspective is too difficult and to top it all off, how can I help others if I can’t even help myself?! To store balance for others to believe in hope again is truly hard however, to believe it a little is good enough. We are all in it together so it kind of overrides my statement! So share, and appreciate one another… The opportunity is so rare and would be a shame to dismiss anyone in your life otherwise regret is where you will end up in…
Speaking of regret, I recently heard the news of my friend back in Secondary School who died. It was the most shocking news I ever had to receive… Although I have not met him in many years, I had once had the opportunity to greet him but it really is too late to. And to find out that my friend who was really close to him called me to let me know the situation, it was heartbreaking to know that this has happened, what he had to deal with and I couldn’t even do anything about it but say “I’m sorry to hear”… I’ve never had to be in that predicament so I was completely speechless but just listen to the words he spoke. I spent my evening moping around and thinking what life is truly about. To find out that we have no clue what will happen tomorrow is terrifying! We are on a path but have no clue where the end is. But the way I see to know that I can end without regrets is mainly to appreciate what I have. I am not there just yet but I will some day… I know there are loads of others who are going through more crap than I am but I just need to know that I am ok before I help anyone else… As selfish as that sounds, it is what I believe I should do!

So what can I do?! Motivate… Understand… And learn! We can never say we know everything but we grasp as much as we can.

I think it’s about time I learn to play an instrument… I want to relieve stress a bit. A new section will probably open up in this blog site so be sure to look out for it… I also believe it is time to spend more time with family. They’ve been there for me and they deserve to have a good time every now and again.

What can I say to those who have been in my life? The only words that fit correctly… Thank you…

Where am I standing?

The date… Once very special… Now a mere memory…
So today is supposed to be that day where I celebrate the yearly anniversary with my ex girlfriend… Supposedly the 7 year mark. Usually we go out somewhere briefly to eat since it landed on a weekday and prepare some form of gift for each other too… I know it’s the new year so I won’t think too much into it but I do wonder and the only way to better myself is to feel what I need to feel right? But somehow, I’m not upset. I feel good right now. Although my life has changed drastically, maybe this is how my life should be lived. And who knows, in the next few months or years, I may bump into her and we can truly be friends. Thinking ahead is so vital and since it is a new start now, I can start planning my life! Work, money, friends, and maybe new girlfriend? Lets see where destiny brings me… 
So my new year started with lazing around the house, waiting for my phone to return to me since I left with my mate accidentally. It’s amazing how this one little device can change my mood instantly. With my feelings fluctuating without my phone, I could not stand the fact I cannot contact my friends for one day! The amount of reliance on this device is something I should not be proud of. Imagine if I lost it… I’d probably lose it! I need to segregate my life from technology to prepare what happens next… Maybe technology could be one of the reasons why I am lazy? Leaving my phone with my friend was the test from destiny indicating to stop relying on it! So is this an eye opener or something I should ignore? So lazing around the house was not a great thing to do however, I blame it on the evening I had… I woke up at 2pm but the rest of it was just watching episodes… Receiving my phone was a huge relief! I immediately turned on my phone and then checked who messaged! Quite a few messages I missed but the most popular thing spammed was the “Happy New Year” messages but all good. For another hour, I just messaged everyone explaining why I was not responding to their messages.
As I stand on the train, I begin to think about projects and as a result, I feel like creating a public chat client. This is a test towards my programming skills to see where my level currently stands. I feel as though I’ve lost my sense of direction in terms of development. When I was once asked “what do you want to be?”, my mind returned a blank variable! I saw myself in games programming but with where I am sitting, I am still where I was when I first graduated! Maybe now with experience but nonetheless, my development skills have decreased all due to motivation…
Generally, I am hyped about getting my development skills back to scratch. My hands itch for the keyboard to develop my own things and this chat client is beneficial for me… Simple and fun…
The thing I lack most lately is single player games. Multiplayer is limited and completely different from a casual single play. You have story, learning about the character, background… I remember playing all these games but I need to revive that part of me again. It all comes down to motivation…
Having friends? Going out? Bad thing about that is the spending but it is absolutely worth it if you do not want to go crazy at home…
So far, I am happy with what I am listing down now but to execute these actions is the main issue… Lets hope it goes well…
All the best…

Happy New Year! 2013 should be something amazing…

We made it. Another year…
A lot of speculation was being said for 2012 but nothing really went down but as we kept thinking about it, the hype died down and here we are today. If anything, 2012 was without a doubt a bad year for relationships (as mentioned before) since I’ve heard many stories about break ups from friends… As well as myself. But it’s a New Year. For those who are dwelling, it’s time to start fresh. The games have reset and the timing to improve yourself has come. Use this year as a sign. If the end of the world did not happen, then it shows we have purpose. Make that purpose happen and believe what you want to do. Regrets, doubts and fear are some of the many elements that will try stop you but it’s time to step up and give it your all. At the end of this year, I think we all want to say “I had a great 2013!” What do we have to lose?
For me? Well, it’s simple. My aim is to make friends, live a little, drink less, think less and do more, exercise, be healthy and spend less… Oh and eat more! As typical as these sound, I feel as though these areas are not yet accomplished for me and I need to explore them thoroughly.
So what did I do to celebrate the New Year? It was something quite special. Realising who have been there for me and spent time just to talk is something to cherish. So after work (yes I worked through New Years Eve),  I went down to China town for a meal. Although I was second to be at the destination, we grabbed our booked table and waited for the others. Eventually, the whole table arrived, we ate and moved to the next destination. Now this was mighty confusing. With the roads being blocked and the crazy amounts of people being on the roads for the fireworks display and public transport being on a halt, it was absolutely horrendous to get to the club. We walked through the blistering cold bumping into the loud crowds with beer cans. Half way through, we decided to give up and watch the fireworks. Although we did not have the best view for it, we did see the display and the initial set of fireworks was absolutely terrible. But then towards the end, the fireworks just went crazy and blowing up like mad! Overall, it was a average display. Was not the best I’ve seen but I appreciate the effort. At the end of this, we continued our journey to the nearest tube as public transport was running again. We got to the club and got through the most disorganised queue I’ve ever been in. This club was unbelievably small! The music and DJ was horrific. There were some good songs but VERY little. After the dancing and the impossibly crazy queues presented just to get a drink, we decided to leave 3 hours before the club closed. Being that time, it was good timing as tubes were quite empty and we had a pleasant train ride home. Although, I gave my mate my phone to call the minicab service and forgot to grab it back, it was a night to remember however I wouldn’t say it was the best night; we made the best we could for the night. Ending up home about 5am, I just rushed to my bed and went straight to sleep.
This was not the best way to start the new year but spending it with friends and all, we had a laugh, we drank… It was pleasant. So I’m glad we went out anyway. 
So I’ll end it with this. New year, new problems, start fresh! Happy New Year all!