Month: January 2013
Motivate… And believe!
Money… The one thing that controls a persons motivation. The one source that makes a hierarchy from one individual to another. The one thing that avoids us from being equal. Being in sequence with the world and how it works. I think we all complain or think about it one day or another but will we ever do anything about it? Like people say, actions speak louder than words. Problems do not resolve unless actions are pushed. I do disagree with some of the protocols deployed for us people to follow but I can accept that I cannot do anything to change this. If there is a solution where it is guaranteed to change all this, by all means I’m game but for now, it’s safe to say I am nothing but a product and however much you would like to specify the obvious, we will be unless someone steps forward to do something about it. But hey… Just my opinion upon life and the world…
Moving on… So motivation finally kicked in this week. My mind was focused and coding happened. Creating a simple game. Feels like I am slowing grasping everything again. I need to just do things now. I am sick and tired of not seeing any content happening. Even writing my blog posts are beginning to slow down as well. But creating simple games should be what I will continue to do until an exciting project comes to mind. By then, my experience should be high enough to tackle a more complicated game! Bare in mind, I only spare a few hours in the evening and a few minutes in the morning to fit in my coding…
There has been one person who truly opens up time to talk to me… It has been a crazy 2 weeks but it feels like they are getting back to being their casual self again. It feels nice to know that they can just sit there and make jokes all day long. The way how we talk is like there is nothing in this world that matters but the moment. It is great to forget reality for a few hours… So thanks for that.
Creating a new me for 2013 is pretty difficult as what I’m told, it’s hard for me to change but I would like to and from the looks of it, it’s going well. As I am saying yes to most things when I usually say no, I found a beneficial factor upon each step (sounds like the Jim Carrey movie ‘Yes Man’). I definitely have missed a lot while I was living under a rock but I’m beginning to catch up to everything. It has been a great feeling and I plan to keep this going. I also booked my tickets to see the Final Fantasy Orchestra based in Barbican! That should be amazing! Since the Zelda performance was absolutely sensational, this should definitely be something worth being at.
My curiosity has increased as well as my motivation… Does that mean things are finally looking up?
A point of view…
Sorry is a powerful word… Using it where it is right is the hard part… Some people just say sorry because they want to escape a certain situation and there are other times when people genuinely mean it. Overusing words can happen without them knowing! But using it less can lead another to question… This world is so tricky! Lately, my friend has been in a spiral. Sometimes the silence is so awkward but is necessary for them to use that time to think. I could have continued to talk but it feels like they’ve somewhat heard it all before. I guess the best way to get rid of it was to take them out and take their mind off it! Wrong move I made… But I’m sure they appreciate my presence or even the thought of me concerned for them…
Wow. A game of badminton! That’s definitely a good start to the new year! Finally some exercise! I haven’t played in so long but it was good. Loads of laughs. There was unfortunately 3 players but one couldn’t make it due to unexpected circumstances… But we made it work. There was one vs one… Then two vs one… And kept swapping like that. It was a great set of games and we plan to make this a weekly event. If we continue this way, I can improve stamina and reflexes! I’m really glad we started this. One thing I need to improve on are my smashes! Always ends up at the end of the court… But I can understand why… Roll on next week!
Coming home from a normal day of work has been tiring… The way how my focus is just not present is frustrating. Every evening, I’d like to accomplish some lines of code but instead, I end up just staring at the screen and doing absolutely nothing and watching random YouTube videos! I need to get out of this routine and getting a little more serious! Is this how it will be this year? I have started on something though throughout the week. It has been very slow. I hope this weekend, I’ll achieve something. Usually on Fridays, I’d go out but since nothing has been planned, maybe I’ll use this evening to execute something productive! Lets see…
So it’s getting so cold in London and as I heard, next week is going to be the week for snow. Something I do not look forward to! With all the icy pavements with the possibility of slipping… Not nice! But hey, I’ll start throwing snowballs! That’s going to be awesome! Since I moved into a house, the heating has not been great! My room is always cold making me not want to do anything!
So lets see where I end up in the next few days. Will it be a good weekend or a bad one? I sure hope that it will be a weekend I spend well.
Instincts? You tell me if they still exist?!
The projects have finally come back to life again. With all the development back into play, I can say that I am on the road once again. Although it has been a really slow start, to just instigate it is a positive step. Producing this little project just made me miss the whole point of Object Oriented Programming. Last time I had this opportunity was just over a year ago and feels like I have much to get back into but it all comes down to remembering where I was. This is where I believe that if you leave your degree behind to do something else, you will eventually lose that skill set and end up seeing that the education you once stressed over was for nothing… So what did I learn? Don’t get too comfortable with what you have now! Keep yourself on your toes and try not to let your skills slip otherwise it really will be a waste.
I have spoken to several others in regards to projects and it seems like we are all getting back to developing our thoughts once again. It feels great! I think it maybe just this boost to the New Year! Why do us humans wait until January of EVERY YEAR to think we get a fresh start!? We could have started at the moment we realised something is slipping and yet, we just wait for that January. Strange…
It’s been a tough few days to get through for some. I just took a friend out to cheer her up. It actually ended up to be one great night. With all the laughter and talks we had, it certainly felt like old times. I really did enjoy the day and feel like I should continue to support her. We all make mistakes thinking it is right but who is to say they aren’t worth a second chance? Why do we spend so much time hating when we can just skip it and enjoy what we currently have? Life is absolutely short to be doing these childish acts…
So it seems this morning, I actually got down to some programming. I think the motivation drive has begun again… However, it was very little as I was able to squeeze 20 minutes of it in. It felt good to be back. I think it is about time to create the schedule for this year. As I have many things I want to accomplish this year, I need to somewhat fit it all in somehow.
My current thoughts lay in the section “where will I be in 5 years time”? The future is so scary. The decisions I am currently avoiding can give me a result where I can end up being! I maybe over thinking every step I am making at present but being careless can be a good answer. How do I even know if it is what I want?! We all hear stories from our elders that they regret something one day or another. It’s impossible but trusting our instincts is all it is. But what if I am doubtful about them? If I followed my instincts, I could have ended up jobless… But is that how it should have been? Be jobless for a while before finding my true inner happiness? Questions clouded over my head and I have no answers!
Who can answer my questions? Me…?
My perspective…
Admitting to your problem brings you one step closer to recovery…
All I’ve been doing lately in conversations are mainly admitting to how I truly feel towards certain situations. I think that I have lifted a big weight from my back throughout the last few months and to understand that my problems don’t even compare to what other people have to deal with. Makes me feel so ignorant… All I have been doing is complaining and what is unfair… I wish I could help those who really need help but to find a solution from a third person perspective is too difficult and to top it all off, how can I help others if I can’t even help myself?! To store balance for others to believe in hope again is truly hard however, to believe it a little is good enough. We are all in it together so it kind of overrides my statement! So share, and appreciate one another… The opportunity is so rare and would be a shame to dismiss anyone in your life otherwise regret is where you will end up in…
Speaking of regret, I recently heard the news of my friend back in Secondary School who died. It was the most shocking news I ever had to receive… Although I have not met him in many years, I had once had the opportunity to greet him but it really is too late to. And to find out that my friend who was really close to him called me to let me know the situation, it was heartbreaking to know that this has happened, what he had to deal with and I couldn’t even do anything about it but say “I’m sorry to hear”… I’ve never had to be in that predicament so I was completely speechless but just listen to the words he spoke. I spent my evening moping around and thinking what life is truly about. To find out that we have no clue what will happen tomorrow is terrifying! We are on a path but have no clue where the end is. But the way I see to know that I can end without regrets is mainly to appreciate what I have. I am not there just yet but I will some day… I know there are loads of others who are going through more crap than I am but I just need to know that I am ok before I help anyone else… As selfish as that sounds, it is what I believe I should do!
So what can I do?! Motivate… Understand… And learn! We can never say we know everything but we grasp as much as we can.
I think it’s about time I learn to play an instrument… I want to relieve stress a bit. A new section will probably open up in this blog site so be sure to look out for it… I also believe it is time to spend more time with family. They’ve been there for me and they deserve to have a good time every now and again.
What can I say to those who have been in my life? The only words that fit correctly… Thank you…
Where am I standing?
Happy New Year! 2013 should be something amazing…